Always Expect the Unexpected!

A strange thing happened on the way to the grave site...

Fr. Fred told me several times that I would have to go through some "firsts" for the 12 months following AC's death - his birthday, Christmas, Easter, and other church holy days, my birthday, our anniversary, his work anniversary, your birthdays, anything that he and I would make a point of celebrating together and thought was special to us. The first few months I can look back on and say I must have still been in shock. Yes, I cried every day, but melancholy/feelings of doom didn't really settle in until most of the probate paperwork had been done and I didn't have a "project" to keep me occupied and busy every minute of every day.

I have always had a working calendar with every birthday or important date written in black marker to remind me to send a card or remember a special time in our married lives. After he died, I got out my hospital journal and transferred milestones of his death and funeral to this calendar, along with all the "special" dates. After I developed the neurological tremors and balance problems recently, the doctor put me on meds and told me to "stop keeping track of the 'dark dates' and put that shit away!" I was not very happy with THAT suggestion as you can imagine, but I can see his point now. Every time I turned the page to a new month, I looked for something written down to be sad and melancholy about. Not good medicine! Did my using the calendar help me grieve? You bet. Did it help bring the memories of that day back in vivid color? Very much so. Did it help me gain a sense of hope for the future? No way, and that was the doc's point. Yes, grieving is important and learning to deal with it is something I have to do, every day. But after December 2009, I won't be transferring AC's "sad" moments to the new calendar.

I had been hoping to spend part of today, the one-year anniversary of his death, with Shannon at his grave site. I really looked forward to being sad, crying, moaning out loud, and giving him hell for putting off going to Trevor and dying on me. What happened instead has turned out to be a blessing, I think. Shannon's kidneys became badly infected and she was in enough pain that her boyfriend took her to the ER on Monday night and she was admitted to RRMC Women's hospital Tuesday morning on a drip of Morphine, Demerol, and antibiotics. After a couple of nights in the hospital, she was quickly on the road to recovery and was slotted to be discharged this morning. Her doctor had to deliver a baby and we just got home at 6:30 PM tonight, so the day was shot and my plans never saw fruition.

Why was my not going to the grave site a blessing? I was able to spend the last 2 days at AC's hospital and visit with his staff in administration, cry together, laugh over silly stories of things he had said or done, hear how much they missed him, see for myself that his death had seriously affected other people and not just me. Instead of mourning by myself, I was surrounded at different times of the day by people that cared for him nearly as much as I did and were willing to grieve his loss with me. Wouldn't you consider that a blessing, too?

God is awesome!

Allied Health Building & Conference Room at LSUA Dedicated to A.C. Buchanan, III

My daughter Shannon and I are in the front of the plaque on the Allied Health Education building on Jackson Street downtown Alexandria, Louisiana.  I have to say, it was exciting and felt a little strange to drive down the street and see the signage with AC's name on it for the first time!   It is very humbling to realize that I was married to a man who was loved and respected by so many people in the community and that they wanted him to be remembered for his work in the healthcare field.


ALLIED HEALTH CONFERENCE ROOM AT LSU-A NAMED AFTER A.C. BUCHANAN, III

I received a letter from Chancellor David P. Manuel PhD. of LSU-A that said in part:
"At the July 16, 2009 meeting of the LSU Board of Supervisors, a special request was made by LSU-A and approved unanimously; the Conference Room (Room 101) of Coughlin Hall on the LSUA campus was renamed the A.C. Buchanan, III Conference Room.  Coughlin Hall is the primary home for the Department of Nursing and the Department of Allied Health.  Thus, it is particularly fitting that we mark A.C.'s legacy on campus by naming a meeting space in this building after him.  This will remind us of his desire that we always pursue high quality healthcare education in Central Louisiana and of his care for the success of LSUA students and faculty."
I am so humbled by their generosity.

Houston Marathon 2009 - Scott Made #2!

Scott Made #2!!!!!
Scott notified me that he was honored at a luncheon held by the Houston Marathon folks and he walked away with the #2 prize Individual Fundraising Award for the whole marathon fundraising initiative!

WooHoo! Way to go, Scott! All your hard work and perseverance paid off in a big way. I am so proud of you and know that AC would have been so pleased with your accomplishment.

LSUA Allied Health Center Building Dedicated to A.C. Buchanan, III

I am so proud!

The Article in The TownTalk newspaper:

A bronze plaque was placed at the LSU-A Allied Health Center building, 807 Jackson Street, today dedicating the building to A.C. Buchanan, III. Buchanan died August 5, 2008 at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston from complications due to leukemia.  Buchanan was involved in creating many of the Allied Health programs before his death.
Buchanan was the Rapides Healthcare System's president and chief executive officer when he lost his battle with cancer. Buchanan had been president and chief executive officer at Rapides Regional since March 1999.  In 2002, he was named president and chief executive officer for the Rapides Healthcare System, which is composed of RRMC, Alexandria; Avoyelles Hospital, Marksville; Oakdale Community Hospital, Oakdale; Savoy Medical Center, Mamou; and Winn Parish Medical Center, Winnfield.
Buchanan moved to Alexandria from Arlington, Texas, in 1999, where he was executive director/administrator of Vencor Hospitals, Tarrant County, a 260-bed facility.
Shortly after accepting the helm of RRMC, Buchanan told The TownTalk that the Central Louisiana community helped sell him on the job. "I love the community, and the hospital is exciting," Buchanan said. "I've heard of Rapides Regional for a number of years, even over in Texas, so it was an opportunity I couldn't pass up." While in Cenla, Buchanan did much to further the Rapides Healthcare System hospitals' standing and became an intricate, involved part of his adopted community.

The plaque on the A.C. Buchanan, III LSU-A Allied Health Center building reads: "In memory of our visionary friend who understood the importance of healthcare and healthcare education. Though greatly missed, his vision lives on."

The plaque unveiled at the LSUA Allied Health Center building dedicating it to A.C. Buchanan stands next to a picture of the former C.E.O. of Rapides Regional Medical Center.

Lisa Buchanan (left) and LSUA Chair of the Department of Allied Health Haywood Joiner along with LSUA Chancellor Dave Manuel applaud after unveiling the plaque dedicating the LSUA Allied Health building to A.C. Buchanan on Tuesday, February 10, 2009. Buchanan was involved in creating many of the Allied Health programs before his death last year.

Lisa Buchanan smiles as Dr. Tom Armstrong talks about working with her husband A.C. Buchanan who died last year. The LSUA Allied Health building was dedicated to him on Tuesday, February 10, 2009.

There were several speakers, men that were the chairs of the different boards, Cheryl the COO at RRMC and yours truly. I wasn't nervous, but was very excited that a building was being dedicated to my husband, what an honor! It is a wonderful feeling to know that others in the community thought enough of him to dedicate a building to him. Thank you to everyone involved!

Houston Marathon January 2009

What a great day! The 1st picture is of Scott seconds before he crossed the finish line, he stopped to kiss his wife and my niece, Mimi, and those are my hands applauding his valiant efforts. There was loud music and great crowds to cheer

4 Month Anniversary

Today I am trying to cope with the fact that AC died 4 months ago. Should this be called an anniversary? I certainly don't feel celebratory, but I am finally at the point where I can see it for what it is - a date that has meaning to me however dismal. I guess the 5th will always make me go back to when he died, but that is probably normal. Now if I could exchange that for the 20th, our wedding anniversary, that should mean I would make some progress...

I started the day as any other where I am alone in the house with MacGregor, my dog. He still needs to be fed and let out, he will never stop barking at cats and squirrels, the phone still rings, doors have to be answered, the usual run of the mill day. Except that my thoughts keep returning to AC's last days in the hospital, trying to rack my memory for one more picture of him that maybe I had forgotten, one more conversation we might have had, anything to fill my heart with some kind of peace. I have not been successful, but that is okay. Pictures of him in my head continue to flash like a slide show, happy times, sad times, you name it, the pictures keep coming. I had taken down all pictures of him in the house, but I am slowly returning them to their usual places. Healing must be taking place because I want to see him besides just on my nightstand where I can kiss him goodnight.

I have been so depressed and forlorn that I decided this morning to be like Cher in the movie "Moonstruck" and slap myself with a "Snap out of it!" conversation. I can choose to be sad, or get on with my life. I can't keep
walking around the house feeling sorry for myself. Laundry needs to be washed, closets cleaned out, art is screaming at me to be created. It doesn't help that my muse has left the building, but I am trying to tease her out of hiding.

My grown kids, family, and friends have been such a great support for me. They let me cry when it doesn't look like I will ever stop, given hugs, made me laugh when I thought I never would again, been there for me when I needed them in person and online, and loving me through this difficult time. I have friends that call me on the phone, mail me RAK's (Random Acts of Kindness) of artwork they made to cheer me up, what would I do without them? They have been my lifeline. I am so grateful that all of them haven't given up on me and written me off. I know I will get back to a normal schedule of painting and being online with my friends but right now it is still hard. The fact that I wanted to blog is a sign of healing, wanting to be online is a great step forward.

Yes, it's a hard time right now, but today I am in my studio working with paint and pens and paper and had a blast the last hour. My muse may be really good at hide-and-seek, but damnit, I am going to have a good time and make her jealous so she will want to create with me again.

It's a beautiful day outside even though it's only in the 40's. Who knew? *grin*

Hurrican Gustav

Hurricane Gustav hit Alexandria, LA with a vengeance, with the eye of the storm going right over us. Luckily, my sister agreed to stay an extra week in anticipation of the hurricane and was a huge help, not only with getting the aftermath cleaned up outside, but keeping me company and it was a lot more fun than had I been alone.

We were without power for 48 hours straight which could have been worse, some neighborhoods and the outlying areas still are without electricity. Since I didn't lose any trees this time, I still had water and that is a blessing compared to previous storms where I have been without power AND water for several days, now THAT sucks!

It is one month ago today that AC passed, so I plan on keeping myself busy with work cleaning the rest of the yard and packing up some of his clothes to get them out of sight. I find that seeing his things keeps me down in the dumps, so picking up reminders of him around the house helps me cope. Of course I know that putting away his things sounds cold, maybe even mean spirited, but I am realizing I have to go on and do the best I can to maintain an even keel and positive attitude. I have no idea where to put some of this stuff, but keeping myself busy is on my list of "to do's" while I grieve.

I have started a scrapbook of his accomplishments, pictures, newspaper articles, and think it will be a first step in getting back to my art. It is almost mindless, yet I am hoping that playing with color and picking out paper and doo-dads will chase my artistic muse out of hiding.

Mail is still very important to me. Every day I look with anticipation for cards and notes that donations have been made to Scott's donation site. There is something about opening mail that is personal, almost joyful and is very uplifting. I have no idea how to thank everyone for spending the time to write notes, mail ATC's and goodies to me, but I will figure out a way.

You all are so dear to me, thank you for your wonderful and comforting comments, it really brightens up my day.

My Beloved AC is gone...

My beloved AC is gone. He had a massive stroke and bleed-out of the brain due to the Leukemia. I leave for home today and the funeral is planned for Saturday.

I meant it when I said we need to hurry up and create art, we don't have much time. My AC was only 56 years old.

I hope that friends will donate, if so inclined, to the Leukemia Society at the website mentioned below where my nephew, Scott, is running in a marathon to raise money in AC's name, it would mean the world to me. We are working even harder now to get a cure.

Thank you for your prayers during these last 3 months, there were times when I could feel them at just the right time.

Go hug your loved ones for me. Kiss them and tell them you love them, then go create art!

The Doc says...

We just got through seeing AC's doctor.
We were told:
- the leukemia cells may have mutated, causing the super drug to be ineffective, but they aren't sure.
- we are now waiting on extensive lab results to show whether he has lymphoid or myloid leukemia - this is important to know so they can decide which new chemo to start this Thursday, which will have to be done In-patient. He still has CML (Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia) but appears to be moving to Advanced.
- until Thursday, they gave him a chemo that is more generic, so that the spleen will start to shrink and the Blast production will start to be controlled, which in turn will stop the stomach area swelling which led to a lot of pain and he hasn't eaten for a couple of days and feels crummy.
- we will have to stay in Houston for the next 4 weeks on an out-patient basis (we hope) so they can treat specific problems that will arise with platelet, hematocrit and hemoglobin problems that they are expecting (like sudden drops in levels). We asked if all this could be done at home and they said no, the treatments will be done on Mondays, Wednesday, Fridays, probably, so we have to stay here.
Um... Nick - I know you just got rid of one set of parents, but... can we move in? I'm kidding, but not really. $100 a day for a hotel is a little steep for 30 days... I can cook now, so what do you say? *insert grin here*
The good news? They felt that starting the generic chemo for the next 6 days and staying at the hotel that he would not have to go in-patient until Thursday when they start the more dedicated chemo. He just started his first dose now and is sleeping.
Whew. Hurrying up and waiting are not my strong suits, but by the time this is all over, it will be so worth it.

Settled In At MD Anderson

We are all settled in at the hotel across the street from MD Anderson.  AC is sleeping and our appointments start tomorrow.  I will be shocked if they don't admit him, but I am old enough to know better than to forecast anything nowadays.

Our nephew who is running the Houston Marathon in AC's name has set up a blog to invite people to keep up with his training routine each day and I will keep him posted on AC's progress so he can post that there also for any donors that want to know how he is doing.

Here is Scott's Blog:

http://4unclebuck.blogspot.com/

I have told him I will be cracking my whip to keep him motivated.  If I have to push a wheelchair and he has to run, he could end up hunkier than Brad Pitt and I will look hot!  Yes, I'm being silly, it's an ATCsForALL joke.  At my age, looking "hot" generally means I am literally dying from the heat, but online I can be as young as I feel!  Right?!

Check out Scott's blog and help me cheer him on (or crack your own whip - whickaaaaaa!).   *grin*

Back to Houston... Marathon News

Well, shuckins, it looks like we are heading back to MD Anderson in the next day or two. AC is producing "blasts" which are an indicator the cancer is back. His labs last week showed 6% and the labs today are at 24%. He feels lousy, poor thing. I am trying to remain chipper, but it is like a huge dark cloud hanging over us.

I tried to spend some time painting yesterday and today, but just can't seem to keep a thought in my head and find myself staring at the canvas like a moron. I did get an email from AC's nephew-in-law in Houston that he is running a marathon in January and is going to be running in AC's name and he set up a website for donations and to keep folks up to date with his training:

http://www.active.com/donate/llshoustonmarathon/4unclebuck

We were so touched! To think that someone thought of that... would I have been so kind? I would like to think so, but... it is an incredible gift to see people react to AC's illness in a manner like that. It would be so easy to just wallow in self-pity, but to know that there are people getting involved, trying to do anything that will help, just makes me cry. Big time. Wow.

I think I will bite the bullet and watch HGTV with AC tonight. I can't stand watching other people work on their homes when I could be doing something, preferably art, but I want to snuggle with my honey and just hide from the world for a couple of hours, even if it's just watching someone else paint. A bedroom. Or a bathroom. An awful color that lacks imagination. *grin*

...The Mona Lisa is my Muse... My art is a large part of who I am...

My art is very important to me and I want to keep growing.  Please feel free to comment and leave your art sites so that I may do the same.  I really appreciate your visiting - come back soon!

"To study art is to study order, relative values, to get at fundamental constructive principles. It is the great study of the inside, not the outside of nature. Such a pursuit evokes justice, simplicity, and good health." The Art Spirit by Robert Henri

Visit "Lisa's Studio" at www.LisaBuchananStudio.com for pictures of paintings I have either sold or are currently working on!