3 Years Later...

August is here already which is shocking to me. I feel like it is still June somehow. When August rolls around my heart sinks because the 5th is AC's death anniversary and this month it will be 3 years. I can feel myself getting down and sad, but that's okay. I still think it is better to let it take over knowing that life will interrupt my sadness and this week will pass. I miss him so much and wish I could have had him longer than our 16 years together. I think I will call his son David and reminisce over the funny times we shared when he was growing up. He is now godfather to my daughter Shannon's son Wyatt. People tell me that they can see AC in him and certain expressions sound like him, too. That's cool to me. (Below: David, Shannon, Brandon)




My granddaughter Sam is still in the process of moving out into her own apartment which will leave me alone for the first time... ever? Hm... I have never had a place of my own, geez louise. Really? Never lived alone? I guess this year will be the year of firsts: bought a car by myself, started a new job, and will officially be living alone. Wow. That sounds really weird to me.


I was just informed yesterday that I sold my painting entitled "Peace I Leave With You" (the gold angel below), so that is music to my ears! Woot!


I am having a blast being "MiMi" to Wyatt and Maegan, my grandchildren. Spoiling toddlers rocks! There is nothing better than hearing "where's MiMi?" or an excited "MiMi!" when they see me. Ah... babies. I love them.


Maybe this three year anniversary will be okay.

Allied Health Building & Conference Room at LSUA Dedicated to A.C. Buchanan, III

My daughter Shannon and I are in the front of the plaque on the Allied Health Education building on Jackson Street downtown Alexandria, Louisiana.  I have to say, it was exciting and felt a little strange to drive down the street and see the signage with AC's name on it for the first time!   It is very humbling to realize that I was married to a man who was loved and respected by so many people in the community and that they wanted him to be remembered for his work in the healthcare field.


ALLIED HEALTH CONFERENCE ROOM AT LSU-A NAMED AFTER A.C. BUCHANAN, III

I received a letter from Chancellor David P. Manuel PhD. of LSU-A that said in part:
"At the July 16, 2009 meeting of the LSU Board of Supervisors, a special request was made by LSU-A and approved unanimously; the Conference Room (Room 101) of Coughlin Hall on the LSUA campus was renamed the A.C. Buchanan, III Conference Room.  Coughlin Hall is the primary home for the Department of Nursing and the Department of Allied Health.  Thus, it is particularly fitting that we mark A.C.'s legacy on campus by naming a meeting space in this building after him.  This will remind us of his desire that we always pursue high quality healthcare education in Central Louisiana and of his care for the success of LSUA students and faculty."
I am so humbled by their generosity.

LSUA Allied Health Center Building Dedicated to A.C. Buchanan, III

I am so proud!

The Article in The TownTalk newspaper:

A bronze plaque was placed at the LSU-A Allied Health Center building, 807 Jackson Street, today dedicating the building to A.C. Buchanan, III. Buchanan died August 5, 2008 at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston from complications due to leukemia.  Buchanan was involved in creating many of the Allied Health programs before his death.
Buchanan was the Rapides Healthcare System's president and chief executive officer when he lost his battle with cancer. Buchanan had been president and chief executive officer at Rapides Regional since March 1999.  In 2002, he was named president and chief executive officer for the Rapides Healthcare System, which is composed of RRMC, Alexandria; Avoyelles Hospital, Marksville; Oakdale Community Hospital, Oakdale; Savoy Medical Center, Mamou; and Winn Parish Medical Center, Winnfield.
Buchanan moved to Alexandria from Arlington, Texas, in 1999, where he was executive director/administrator of Vencor Hospitals, Tarrant County, a 260-bed facility.
Shortly after accepting the helm of RRMC, Buchanan told The TownTalk that the Central Louisiana community helped sell him on the job. "I love the community, and the hospital is exciting," Buchanan said. "I've heard of Rapides Regional for a number of years, even over in Texas, so it was an opportunity I couldn't pass up." While in Cenla, Buchanan did much to further the Rapides Healthcare System hospitals' standing and became an intricate, involved part of his adopted community.

The plaque on the A.C. Buchanan, III LSU-A Allied Health Center building reads: "In memory of our visionary friend who understood the importance of healthcare and healthcare education. Though greatly missed, his vision lives on."

The plaque unveiled at the LSUA Allied Health Center building dedicating it to A.C. Buchanan stands next to a picture of the former C.E.O. of Rapides Regional Medical Center.

Lisa Buchanan (left) and LSUA Chair of the Department of Allied Health Haywood Joiner along with LSUA Chancellor Dave Manuel applaud after unveiling the plaque dedicating the LSUA Allied Health building to A.C. Buchanan on Tuesday, February 10, 2009. Buchanan was involved in creating many of the Allied Health programs before his death last year.

Lisa Buchanan smiles as Dr. Tom Armstrong talks about working with her husband A.C. Buchanan who died last year. The LSUA Allied Health building was dedicated to him on Tuesday, February 10, 2009.

There were several speakers, men that were the chairs of the different boards, Cheryl the COO at RRMC and yours truly. I wasn't nervous, but was very excited that a building was being dedicated to my husband, what an honor! It is a wonderful feeling to know that others in the community thought enough of him to dedicate a building to him. Thank you to everyone involved!

4 Month Anniversary

Today I am trying to cope with the fact that AC died 4 months ago. Should this be called an anniversary? I certainly don't feel celebratory, but I am finally at the point where I can see it for what it is - a date that has meaning to me however dismal. I guess the 5th will always make me go back to when he died, but that is probably normal. Now if I could exchange that for the 20th, our wedding anniversary, that should mean I would make some progress...

I started the day as any other where I am alone in the house with MacGregor, my dog. He still needs to be fed and let out, he will never stop barking at cats and squirrels, the phone still rings, doors have to be answered, the usual run of the mill day. Except that my thoughts keep returning to AC's last days in the hospital, trying to rack my memory for one more picture of him that maybe I had forgotten, one more conversation we might have had, anything to fill my heart with some kind of peace. I have not been successful, but that is okay. Pictures of him in my head continue to flash like a slide show, happy times, sad times, you name it, the pictures keep coming. I had taken down all pictures of him in the house, but I am slowly returning them to their usual places. Healing must be taking place because I want to see him besides just on my nightstand where I can kiss him goodnight.

I have been so depressed and forlorn that I decided this morning to be like Cher in the movie "Moonstruck" and slap myself with a "Snap out of it!" conversation. I can choose to be sad, or get on with my life. I can't keep
walking around the house feeling sorry for myself. Laundry needs to be washed, closets cleaned out, art is screaming at me to be created. It doesn't help that my muse has left the building, but I am trying to tease her out of hiding.

My grown kids, family, and friends have been such a great support for me. They let me cry when it doesn't look like I will ever stop, given hugs, made me laugh when I thought I never would again, been there for me when I needed them in person and online, and loving me through this difficult time. I have friends that call me on the phone, mail me RAK's (Random Acts of Kindness) of artwork they made to cheer me up, what would I do without them? They have been my lifeline. I am so grateful that all of them haven't given up on me and written me off. I know I will get back to a normal schedule of painting and being online with my friends but right now it is still hard. The fact that I wanted to blog is a sign of healing, wanting to be online is a great step forward.

Yes, it's a hard time right now, but today I am in my studio working with paint and pens and paper and had a blast the last hour. My muse may be really good at hide-and-seek, but damnit, I am going to have a good time and make her jealous so she will want to create with me again.

It's a beautiful day outside even though it's only in the 40's. Who knew? *grin*

Hurrican Gustav

Hurricane Gustav hit Alexandria, LA with a vengeance, with the eye of the storm going right over us. Luckily, my sister agreed to stay an extra week in anticipation of the hurricane and was a huge help, not only with getting the aftermath cleaned up outside, but keeping me company and it was a lot more fun than had I been alone.

We were without power for 48 hours straight which could have been worse, some neighborhoods and the outlying areas still are without electricity. Since I didn't lose any trees this time, I still had water and that is a blessing compared to previous storms where I have been without power AND water for several days, now THAT sucks!

It is one month ago today that AC passed, so I plan on keeping myself busy with work cleaning the rest of the yard and packing up some of his clothes to get them out of sight. I find that seeing his things keeps me down in the dumps, so picking up reminders of him around the house helps me cope. Of course I know that putting away his things sounds cold, maybe even mean spirited, but I am realizing I have to go on and do the best I can to maintain an even keel and positive attitude. I have no idea where to put some of this stuff, but keeping myself busy is on my list of "to do's" while I grieve.

I have started a scrapbook of his accomplishments, pictures, newspaper articles, and think it will be a first step in getting back to my art. It is almost mindless, yet I am hoping that playing with color and picking out paper and doo-dads will chase my artistic muse out of hiding.

Mail is still very important to me. Every day I look with anticipation for cards and notes that donations have been made to Scott's donation site. There is something about opening mail that is personal, almost joyful and is very uplifting. I have no idea how to thank everyone for spending the time to write notes, mail ATC's and goodies to me, but I will figure out a way.

You all are so dear to me, thank you for your wonderful and comforting comments, it really brightens up my day.

A Week After the Funeral...

It has now been a week since the funeral, which was perfect - dignified, solemn yet beautiful.

The bagpiper played several songs - during the funeral itself and at the burial site. The choir sang our favorite songs and Richard sang "On Eagle's Wings" which was so befitting the service. I don't remember a lot of details, only that I survived 2 hours of visitation at the church the night before and another hour of visitation before the service. It was exhausting but worth it. I will never forget it.

AC would have been so pleased. It turns out that I remember what everyone has had to say, maybe because unconsciously I knew I would want to remember all the wonderful memories people had of him so I could play them back in my head later, who knows. It was very encouraging to hear what an impact he had on the community and personally in people's lives.
I am learning an important lesson in all this grief - if you think your phone call or card won't matter, place the call or write the card anyway. Every single message is important. I have received the most beautiful cards and letters and am ashamed I haven't written more of them myself to others in times like this.
I am not ready to be online like I used to be and can only answer email at this time. The crying doesn't stop. My daughter and sister make me laugh, we share funny moments, and they don't hover when I need to cry. They understand that grieving is healthy, if I need to cry, I just do it, and I feel so much better afterwards. The night time is the worst, but in talking with other widows, this is natural.
I had to go to AC's office to clean out his personal stuff and did well until the last minute. That last look around to make sure I had gotten everything did me in. I also realized that his work colleagues had spent 8-10 hours a day, 5 days a week with him constantly. In fact they probably saw him more than I did my whole married life to him. What a shock that realization was! They are nearly as upset as I am. That was a real eye opener.
I don't have any idea when I will get back to my art, I know it will be cathartic, but right now I am just concentrating on letting the tears fall where they may.
Thank you to everyone that has left phone messages, written cards and RAK's, and have been praying for me. It means the world to me. I have them all here on my desk, so I don't forget a single thank you, they are all so special.
Thank you.

Rapides Regional Medical Center's Obituary for AC: 

August 7, 2008

For IMMEDIATE RELEASE

For more information, contact:
Charla Ducote, Vice President of Marketing, Public Relations and Business Development
Rapides Healthcare System
(318) 769-3157 
AC Buchanan, RHS President and CEO, dies at 56
 

Alexandria, LA - Rapides Healthcare System’s president and chief executive officer, A.C. Buchanan, died Tuesday at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center from complications due to leukemia. He was 56.

Buchanan served as president and chief executive officer at Rapides Regional Medical Center (RRMC) since March 1999. In 2002, he was named president and chief executive officer for the Rapides Healthcare System, which is comprised of RRMC, Avoyelles Hospital, Marksville, Oakdale Community Hospital, Oakdale, Savoy Medical Center, Mamou and Winn Parish Medical Center, Winnfield.

Buchanan’s leadership of Rapides Regional Medical Center and the Rapides Healthcare System were a testament to his long career in healthcare administration. After earning his bachelor’s degree at Texas Christian University, he was a medical platoon leader in the U.S. Army. Buchanan went on to earn a master’s degree in public administration from TCU and a master’s degree in healthcare administration from Trinity University.

He served as an administrator and CEO of six hospitals across Texas and Louisiana including a four-hospital system before taking the helm of Rapides in 1999. He also worked as a managed care consultant in Texas.

Visionary

Buchanan’s years in central Louisiana anchored an extraordinary career in which he continued the tradition set by those before him, growing RRMC into one of the top hospitals in the state. Through his leadership and strong interest in women’s and children’s services, RRMC became home to the area’s largest neonatal intensive care unit and the area’s only pediatric intensive care unit. He also was instrumental in recruiting pediatric sub-specialists into our community providing access to these rare specialists for those in need.

Providing the highest quality patient care was Buchanan’s top priority. His respect for the nursing and ancillary staff was recognized by many. A.C. also understood the importance and value of an exemplary medical staff. Along with over 200 dedicated physicians already serving RRMC, one of his proudest accomplishments included the strong recruitment efforts of more than 40 new physicians to this community.

But the accomplishments didn’t stop there. Under Buchanan’s leadership RRMC achieved the top five percent rating nationally from Healthgrades in multiple specialties, for many years, was awarded as a Top 100 Hospital, as well as awarded the Louisiana Quality Award for hospital excellence. He developed and expanded many new services in cardiology, oncology, surgery and other ancillary areas. His most recent achievement was the completion and opening of the $50 million expansion accomplished earlier this year.

Community Involvement

Buchanan was a dedicated member at his church, St. James Episcopal. He served in many capacities such as Senior Warden of Vestry (Executive Committee), Finance Committee, Property Committee, Investment Oversight Committee, Lector, Lay Eucharistic Minister, Lay Eucharistic Visitor, Life in Christ Leader, Mission and Outreach, Christian Education Director, Diocesan Executive Committee and the Diocesan Council for The Episcopal Diocese of Western Louisiana. He was a recent graduate of the Education of Ministry program, which involved a four-year commitment in training.

Also, in the community, Buchanan recently served as Chairman of the LSUA Foundation Board, LSUA Chancellor Search Committee, Alexandria Museum of Art Board, Alexandria Business Foundation Board, Louisiana Hospital Association (LHA) Board, Cenla Advantage Partnership Board, LHA Central District, Past Chair, and the Canterbury House Board.

Buchanan previously served on the Chamber of Commerce Board, American Heart Association Heart Walk Chairperson, LHA Legislative Regulatory and Policy Council, the American Hospital Association Regional Policy Board and the Region 6 Health-care Reform Consortium, and the Rapides Primary Health Care Center. He was a Leadership Giver of United Way, as well as involved with the March of Dimes, American Cancer Society, and a Leadership Central Louisiana graduate.

Services/Memorial Contributions

Visitation will be on Friday, August 8 from 5:30 – 8:30 p.m. at St. James Episcopal Church Parish Hall. On Saturday, August 9 visitation at the church will be from 1 p.m. until the time of service at 2 p.m. Burial will be at Mt. Olivet Cemetery, Pineville. Funeral arrangements are under the guidance of John Kramer & Son.

His family has asked that in lieu of flowers, donations be made to support his nephew Scott Peacock who is running the Houston Marathon for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in memory of AC, his “Uncle Buck.” Donations may be made at http://www.active.com/donate/llshoustonmarathon/4unclebuck or in the name of A.C. Buchanan at The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society at P.O. Box 4072, Pittsfield, MA 01202.

My Beloved AC is gone...

My beloved AC is gone. He had a massive stroke and bleed-out of the brain due to the Leukemia. I leave for home today and the funeral is planned for Saturday.

I meant it when I said we need to hurry up and create art, we don't have much time. My AC was only 56 years old.

I hope that friends will donate, if so inclined, to the Leukemia Society at the website mentioned below where my nephew, Scott, is running in a marathon to raise money in AC's name, it would mean the world to me. We are working even harder now to get a cure.

Thank you for your prayers during these last 3 months, there were times when I could feel them at just the right time.

Go hug your loved ones for me. Kiss them and tell them you love them, then go create art!

The Doc says...

We just got through seeing AC's doctor.
We were told:
- the leukemia cells may have mutated, causing the super drug to be ineffective, but they aren't sure.
- we are now waiting on extensive lab results to show whether he has lymphoid or myloid leukemia - this is important to know so they can decide which new chemo to start this Thursday, which will have to be done In-patient. He still has CML (Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia) but appears to be moving to Advanced.
- until Thursday, they gave him a chemo that is more generic, so that the spleen will start to shrink and the Blast production will start to be controlled, which in turn will stop the stomach area swelling which led to a lot of pain and he hasn't eaten for a couple of days and feels crummy.
- we will have to stay in Houston for the next 4 weeks on an out-patient basis (we hope) so they can treat specific problems that will arise with platelet, hematocrit and hemoglobin problems that they are expecting (like sudden drops in levels). We asked if all this could be done at home and they said no, the treatments will be done on Mondays, Wednesday, Fridays, probably, so we have to stay here.
Um... Nick - I know you just got rid of one set of parents, but... can we move in? I'm kidding, but not really. $100 a day for a hotel is a little steep for 30 days... I can cook now, so what do you say? *insert grin here*
The good news? They felt that starting the generic chemo for the next 6 days and staying at the hotel that he would not have to go in-patient until Thursday when they start the more dedicated chemo. He just started his first dose now and is sleeping.
Whew. Hurrying up and waiting are not my strong suits, but by the time this is all over, it will be so worth it.

Settled In At MD Anderson

We are all settled in at the hotel across the street from MD Anderson.  AC is sleeping and our appointments start tomorrow.  I will be shocked if they don't admit him, but I am old enough to know better than to forecast anything nowadays.

Our nephew who is running the Houston Marathon in AC's name has set up a blog to invite people to keep up with his training routine each day and I will keep him posted on AC's progress so he can post that there also for any donors that want to know how he is doing.

Here is Scott's Blog:

http://4unclebuck.blogspot.com/

I have told him I will be cracking my whip to keep him motivated.  If I have to push a wheelchair and he has to run, he could end up hunkier than Brad Pitt and I will look hot!  Yes, I'm being silly, it's an ATCsForALL joke.  At my age, looking "hot" generally means I am literally dying from the heat, but online I can be as young as I feel!  Right?!

Check out Scott's blog and help me cheer him on (or crack your own whip - whickaaaaaa!).   *grin*

Back to Houston... Marathon News

Well, shuckins, it looks like we are heading back to MD Anderson in the next day or two. AC is producing "blasts" which are an indicator the cancer is back. His labs last week showed 6% and the labs today are at 24%. He feels lousy, poor thing. I am trying to remain chipper, but it is like a huge dark cloud hanging over us.

I tried to spend some time painting yesterday and today, but just can't seem to keep a thought in my head and find myself staring at the canvas like a moron. I did get an email from AC's nephew-in-law in Houston that he is running a marathon in January and is going to be running in AC's name and he set up a website for donations and to keep folks up to date with his training:

http://www.active.com/donate/llshoustonmarathon/4unclebuck

We were so touched! To think that someone thought of that... would I have been so kind? I would like to think so, but... it is an incredible gift to see people react to AC's illness in a manner like that. It would be so easy to just wallow in self-pity, but to know that there are people getting involved, trying to do anything that will help, just makes me cry. Big time. Wow.

I think I will bite the bullet and watch HGTV with AC tonight. I can't stand watching other people work on their homes when I could be doing something, preferably art, but I want to snuggle with my honey and just hide from the world for a couple of hours, even if it's just watching someone else paint. A bedroom. Or a bathroom. An awful color that lacks imagination. *grin*

Life Has Been Busy With A Diagnosis of Leukemia

Life has been busy!
My husband was diagnosed with (CML) Leukemia in April '08 and to say it has been life altering would be an understatement. For 3 solid months I was never in my studio, just taking care of him as best I could, living at MD Anderson and traveling back and forth. My forum friends were a real comfort to me during this really hard time, sending RAK's, phoning me to find out how we were doing, and generally keeping in touch. It made a world of difference in my world. Because I was never online, I had no idea what was going on, so they were my link to the outside world. Inky, PurpleRealm, Jean, Seraphic, ArteDar and Adriayna kept me updated or just called to give a hug over the phone, and that was a good thing. My close friends at home have been great, too, calling or emailing to see if we need anything, not wanting to be in the way or interrupt us. I need that hand reaching out to remind me not to hibernate so long in my studio. I get on the computer or start a painting and hours go by and I need to start thinking about making dinner. I am as shocked as anyone that knows me, I am cooking? I know, right? Of course I fry too much, but that is what I am better at... He is on what I call Super Drug #2 which is more specific to his type of leukemia and seems to be working on a chromosome level. We still travel to MD Anderson on a regular basis but he has started going back to work for meetings a couple of days a week when his stamina enables him to go. Life is nearly back to normal. Well, more like life is calm.

I had been consumed with helping set up and manage/moderate my new site that I am a co-owner of. The old ATC trading site that I was a moderator on was closed very suddenly by the owner, so a few of us scrambled to get another one set up. It took hard work, little sleep, countless hours and devotion of the old mods (and some new ones) to get the new place up and running. We managed to keep folks in communication in a Flickr group while we were setting it up, and now we have over 1,000 members! The name = ATCsForALL.com. We trade ATC's, altered art, Inchies, Chunky Book pages, postcards, recipe cards, rolodex cards, journal and altered books, you name it, we trade and swap it! I trade art at another juried ATC site that is mainly hand-drawn-painted called IllustratedATCs. The artists there are spectacular, and many of the artists on my list of fav's are there. Check it out!

The Start of Our Life-Changing Journey

21 April 2008, a day I will never forget.

My husband A. C. was diagnosed with CML (Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia) on Monday, 21 April 2008 by our dear friend, Trevor From, M.D.  A. C. hadn't felt well for several weeks thinking it must be a bad case of the flu.   After traveling to Houston for Mimi and Scott's new baby's baptism and his only getting worse by the minute, I insisted he see our friend and A. C. called the office and was seen very quickly.

Trevor saw him, drew blood, then shortly diagnosed him. What a shock! We sat there in disbelief.  He said that was all he could tell us, it was not his specialty, and asked A. C. which oncologist he wanted to take care of him.   I think that is when it hit me over the head, hard. Oncologist?  What? A cancer doctor?   Are you kidding me?  This isn't happening... just kept running through my head.

Trevor immediately admitted him to A. C.'s own hospital, Rapides Regional Medical Center, where he underwent tests for several days.  A. C. started swelling up, his legs, his stomach, his arms, everything just got huge.  They said his spleen was 3 times its normal size, his blood pressure was getting higher and he would not eat much of anything.  It turns out, he doesn't remember much of anything, either.  He acted coherant, but 10 minutes later he wouldn't remember a conversation he had just had.

It was only when on about the 3rd day (I don't remember details like dates very well during this time) my rector, Fr. Fred insisted I talk with the oncologist about moving him to MD Anderson in Houston.  I assumed docs would do the next step on their own without prompting.  I talked to A. C.'s COO Cheryl Wilson and an RN that I adore, Beverly Lowentritt, who counseled me and said they would set up a conversation for me with the oncologist. Apparently they talked to him at length, he walked in and said "I think we need to transfer him to MD Anderson".

That next Friday they transported A. C. by ambulance, he was too sick and swollen with edema to fly on his back in a fixed-wing aircraft (plane or helicopter) so a dear friend, Bulldog (John) went with him because I had to stay and wait for my daughter Shannon and my sister Carolyn to arrive at the airport that afternoon and evening.

Here is what I have been doing lately (this is the original post, I have added the details of A.C.'s illness at a later date):

I started my own Etsy shop where I make and sell Acrylic Stamps - it is a blast! I either use my own drawings or vintage photographs from my hubby's side of the family - there are a ton of them. I have made several sales. Check it out - www.LisaBuchanan.Etsy.com



The little girl is my grandmother, circa 1893 when she was 3 years.

I also sell note cards of my work and just started selling Art Pins that I make. I joined an Art Pin swap and fell in love - I could not stop making them, I was hooked!